Children may go through many feelings, thoughts and emotions dealing with their parents break-up.
This can be a very stressful and worrying time for them and they too are going through a grieving process from the loss of the family unit they once knew. This is normal.
It is the job of the parent to make the process less painful for them and help them see the break-up situation from a positive perspective, so they can come out the other side more resilient.
Biggest factors divorce has on children’s wellbeing:-
- Conflict- length and severity
- Quality of parenting over time
- Your personal relationship between yourself and your child
Divorce doesn’t have to damage your children and it can be an empowering life lesson as it will teach them early on in life that not all things in life turn out as we plan, nut that it doesn’t mean that we won’t be happy ever again.
Letting them see you pick yourself up and turn your life around again based on your behaviour shows them how to cope with situations. Making us their role model and teaching them a valuable life lesson and skill.
Tips on how to tell children about the break-up:-
- Tell the children together
- Decide together what you’re going to tell the children
- Let children ask questions if they have any. And don’t rush off
- Reassure them that they are loved still by both parents, and that it will be ok
- Reassure them that this is not their fault
- Do not play the blame game in front of the children
- Do not get emotional in front of the children
- Be honest about there will be changes, and explain what these will be if you can
- Tell the truth but keep it simple
- Keep it focused on the benefits and the positives by telling children things like, they will have two birthday and Christmas celebrations, have two bedrooms, get extra toys etc.