Sometimes toxic behaviour in a person can be just their natural personality. Other times it can be due to mental illness.
Either way, this can cause the family dynamics to be very toxic through, drama, conflict, being manipulative, exploitative, controlling, needy, jealous, extremely competitive, entitled, vindictive, false accusations, attention seeking and needing constant validation.
It is important to understand the impact of unhealthy patterns such as these on our mental, emotional and physical health.
And at times we may not even understand that certain family dynamics are unhealthy, or have the tools to address these patterns.
These questions will help to give you those tools:-
- How often do I want to see them?
- How much time do I want to spend with them?
- How much information about my life and myself do I want to share with them?
- Am I internally and externally boundaried?
- Have I made my boundaries known to them?
- Have I reinforced my boundaries to them if they break them?
- Am I allowing myself to be manipulated by them?
- Do I have a need to be liked by them?
- Do I need to go limited contact with them? ( if age appropriate)
- Do I need to go no contact with them/ remove them from my life? ( if age appropriate)
- Is the relationship with them only about borrowing money and needing money?
- Do I allow them to interfere with my life?
- Do they bring drama and conflict to my life?
- Are having these people in my life giving me the life I want or need for myself?